By Novema, October 2026
For international schools, the question of what parents want from education is becoming much broader than academic achievement.
Parents are increasingly looking to schools not simply to deliver strong examination results, but to help their children develop the character, resilience, social skills and values they will need throughout life. Yet what this means in practice varies significantly between families and cultures.
Research from Novema, based on 2,115 parents across Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand, provides a detailed insight into what parents expect from international schools when it comes to discipline and family values.
The research, conducted in September and October 2025, included 665 parents in Singapore, 729 in Malaysia and 721 in Thailand. It also examined differences between Western and Asian expatriates and a range of nationalities.
The findings point to an important opportunity for international schools: discipline and values can be powerful elements of school positioning, but they need to be understood and communicated in ways that resonate with increasingly diverse parent communities.
DISCIPLINE IS ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN PUNISHMENT
One of the clearest findings is that parents do not primarily associate discipline with punishment.
The most widely supported approach, endorsed by 74% of parents, is helping children learn to manage their emotions and build positive relationships. This is followed closely by explicit rules on conduct, such as no bullying and respect for teachers and peers (73%), and instilling routines, including schedules, time management and homework deadlines (71%).
A further 70% support teaching children the importance of “duty” rather than simply focusing on the self, while 69% want discipline to be applied equitably, regardless of a child’s family or background.
These findings suggest that parents see effective discipline as something that develops internal qualities such as self-control, responsibility and resilience, rather than simply ensuring compliance with rules.
Indeed, only 42% selected punishment for bad behaviour – such as detention, suspension or other sanctions – as an approach they support for instilling discipline.
Similarly, just 38% selected school uniforms and strict dress codes.
Importantly, these lower figures should not be interpreted as parents opposing uniforms or punishment. The survey asked parents to select their priorities for instilling discipline. A parent who did not select uniforms, for example, may still strongly support a school having a uniform.
REWARD APPEARS TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN PUNISHMENT
Another striking finding is the greater support for positive reinforcement.
60% of parents support rewarding good behaviour through incentives, privileges or praise, compared with 42% who support punishment.
This reflects a broader view of discipline as education rather than simply correction.
Parents’ additional comments reinforce this point. They called for tailored consequences rather than “one-size-fits-all” punishment, restorative conversations, conflict resolution and opportunities for children to make amends.
There was also considerable emphasis on pastoral care, emotional wellbeing, self-management and resilience.
For school leaders, this suggests that the language of discipline may itself need reconsideration. “Discipline” can imply rules and sanctions, whereas parents appear increasingly interested in how schools develop self-discipline.
WESTERN AND ASIAN PARENTS SHARE MORE THAN THEY DISAGREE ON
Despite the cultural differences within the international school market, there is considerable common ground.
Both Western and Asian expatriate parents place high importance on managing emotions, establishing routines, understanding duty and ensuring equitable treatment.
However, there are some important differences.
Asian expatriates place explicit rules on conduct at the top of their priorities, whereas this ranks lower among Western expatriates. Asian parents are also less likely to want direct involvement in disciplinary issues through mechanisms such as parent-teacher meetings.
Western expatriates, by contrast, tend to endorse a wider range of disciplinary measures.
This matters because international schools increasingly serve highly diverse communities. A single approach to communicating discipline may therefore fail to resonate equally with all parent groups.
NATIONALITY CAN MAKE AN EVEN BIGGER DIFFERENCE
The research shows that broad distinctions between “Western” and “Asian” parents can conceal significant differences between nationalities.
For example, 92% of UK parents surveyed support helping children manage emotions and build positive relationships, while 85% support explicit rules on conduct and 84% the importance of duty.
US parents put explicit rules first, with 88% supporting this approach, and managing emotions and relationships at 88%.
Among Malaysian parents, however, 72% support parental involvement in discipline, making this their highest-ranked approach. They are also more supportive than average of punishment and school uniforms.
Japanese parents present a very different profile. Their highest-ranked disciplinary approach is instilling routines (75%), followed by explicit rules (74%) and managing emotions and relationships (72%). Yet only 16% identify uniforms and strict dress codes as a means of instilling discipline.
The implication is clear: there is no single international-school parent.
Understanding the composition of a school’s parent population can therefore be critical when defining its approach to discipline, pastoral care and parent communications.
FAMILY VALUES MAY MATTER EVEN MORE THAN DISCIPLINE
Perhaps the most commercially significant finding is that school values can be even more important than disciplinary policies in differentiating an international school.
When parents were asked which educational approaches align with their family values, two attributes came joint top:
76% selected self-discipline, including time management, emotional control and hard work, while 76% selected developing resilience in the face of adversity, challenges and stress.
These were followed by:
- 70% – maintaining a balance between academic and non-academic pursuits
- 68% – social awareness, including poverty and environmental issues
- 62% – academic effort and dedication
- 56% – maintaining neutrality on political and social justice issues while allowing open discussion
- 51% – respect for authority and seniors
- 51% – appreciating the child’s privilege relative to others
- 42% – schools actively promoting social justice issues
- 32% – religious values according to the family’s faith
The results challenge the assumption that academic performance should sit at the centre of every school’s proposition.
Academic effort is important, but self-discipline, resilience and a balanced education rank higher.
PARENTS WANT CHILDREN PREPARED FOR LIFE, NOT JUST EXAMINATIONS
The additional comments from parents reinforce this broader educational agenda.
They want schools to develop kindness, empathy, integrity, responsibility and perseverance. They want children to develop emotional regulation, communication skills, critical thinking and the ability to debate without fear.
There is also strong interest in service, community engagement, multiculturalism and respect for people from different backgrounds.
At the same time, parents are concerned about excessive competition, overreliance on technology, mobile-phone use, online behaviour and bullying.
There is therefore a strong appetite for schools to develop well-rounded young people, rather than simply high academic achievers.
SOCIAL JUSTICE REMAINS A POTENTIAL FAULT LINE
The research also identifies an area where parent expectations become considerably more polarised.
A majority – 56% – prefer schools to maintain a neutral position on political and social justice issues while allowing open discussion.
Only 42% support schools actively campaigning or promoting social justice issues such as antiracism, Net Zero or LGBT matters.
The research also found considerable differences between nationalities and individual families on these issues.
For schools, this creates a delicate communications challenge. Parents may value social awareness and discussion while differing substantially over where the boundary lies between education, advocacy and political positioning.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR INTERNATIONAL SCHOOLS?
The research suggests that successful international schools need to articulate clearly what they stand for – and how those values are translated into everyday school life.
The opportunity is not necessarily to choose between “strict” and “liberal” discipline.
Instead, schools can focus on the common ground: self-discipline, resilience, emotional development, responsibility, fairness, respect and positive relationships.
They can then define their own distinctive ethos around these foundations.
For school leaders, this has implications across the entire parent journey – from brand positioning and admissions communications to pastoral care, behaviour policies and parent engagement.
Most importantly, the research demonstrates that values are not simply words on a school website. They are part of the reason parents choose, recommend and remain loyal to a school.
In an increasingly competitive international school market, understanding which values matter to different parent audiences – and ensuring that the school’s actual experience delivers against those expectations – could be just as important as communicating academic results.
The international school of the future may therefore need to answer a broader question than “How well do our students perform?”
It may also need to demonstrate: “What kind of people do our students become?”
